Share Four Somethings – April

Something Loved

Meditations in MotionDoes it sound weird to say “I love freedom?

Readers of my blog know I have been struggling lately. It shows up when I run.

Running has long been my space to solve problems. Movement is like therapy for me, so, ironically, the very place I usually go for clarity and answers is now the problem.

I run down the road, feeling fine, when out of the blue, feelings of self-doubt and anxiety overwhelm me and I become weepy.

My poor running partner (and husband) is left to wonder what in the world is going on.

I thought I had put the issue to rest when I had good runs for six days in a row; no tears. Then last Sunday, a setback.

I thought it might be beneficial to try to determine the issue causing the problem, so I thought about it, and I think it’s freedom.

I’m missing it.

Oh, I’m not going to go all “Coronavirus restrictions protest” or anything remotely similar here [insert eye-roll].

But I do miss the freedom to invite my son and his family over for dinner, to have sleepovers with my grandchildren who live close by, to visit my grandson in Colorado and give him a hug, to have happy hour with my girlfriend, to go out for sushi with my hubby, to travel.

I mourn the freedom that the Coronavirus crisis has taken away from us.

When this is finally over, I will never take that freedom for granted again.

Something Read

I just finished two books – one fiction and one non-fiction. I liked (but didn’t love) both books.

The fiction book, “Before We Were Yours“, was certainly a page-turner. It kept my interest, even if it was sort of formulaic. It was told from two points of view, one character narrating in modern times and one narrating in the 1930s.

The modern-day character is a lawyer and daughter of a senator. The 1930s character is a 12-year-old girl struggling to keep her siblings together after they are taken away from their parents. The two stories collide near the end of the book.

The non-fiction book, “Everybody Lies” describes the benefits of using what the author calls “Big Data” to study issues. Big Data, as it turns out, is mostly gleaned from our internet search history.

The title of the book refers to the fact that we don’t usually answer surveys truthfully. We give the answers we think we should give. Our Google searches tell the truth. It’s an interesting premise and the author tells plenty of stories to illustrate his point.

Something Treasured

My husband and I were supposed to be in Colorado this week visiting our grandson. Of course, travel is out of the question right now, so we missed this opportunity.

It’s not the same as being there, of course, but I treasure the photos that my daughter-in-law sends to keep us updated on our little guy’s latest antics.

In the photo on the right, he is showing off the play dough he made from salt dough. In the photo on the left, he finally caught one of their chickens after a lot of pursuit. It looks like the chicken is having fun, doesn’t it?

Something Ahead

Meditations in Motion

I am looking forward to Saturday nights again.

We are Zooming with our friends for happy hour every week.

Anyone watching from the outside would find it hilarious.

There are ten of us in all, five couples. We are all, ahem, of a certain age, and we are all fairly new to Zoom. By the time all have our video and sound on, with gallery view so that we can see and hear each other, typically about 10 minutes of the hour has gone by.

There is a lot of good-natured laughing, often at others’ expense, some texting of much-needed help to especially frustrated participants, followed by the retrieving of reading glasses, but we always finally manage to relax and converse.

When the crisis is over and we are allowed to gather in person again, we have vowed to have a big shindig.

I am looking forward to that.

 

I am linking up with Heather Gerwing for her β€œFour Somethings”. Thanks, Heather, for giving the opportunity to think and write about four such compelling topics.

You can find the places I link up here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

114 comments

  1. I think it is important to be thankful for what we do have, appreciative of what we are missing to never take it for granted again, and at peace knowing that soon this will be over and we can start over hopefully learning more than we missed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janis, you would laugh if you could see us struggling with the technology. We laugh at ourselves! πŸ™‚ I think the chicken wrangler is adorable too but I am definitely not an objective observer.

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  2. At least we still have our blogs!!!! I can understand your keen disappointment at not being able to see your grandson in CO. We used to be far away from our grandsons, and we would have ached if we had to cancel plans to see them. When this is over, do you suppose we’ll shoot out of our houses as if hurled from a slingshot??

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true, Anne! My blog is keeping me connected and gives me something to engage my mind. I am grateful for all the wonderful people I have met through blogging. I think we will shoot out of our houses. I plan to!

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  3. I echo your sentiments about missing freedom. It’s one thing to chose to isolate for one reason or another but when that choice is taken away from you…the loss is felt more acutely. (And I’m not talking about government taking about this choice – it’s the virus’ doing!)

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  4. girl… wish we’d never moved to CO We have very high number of cases and deaths. I wouldn’t come for a visit now. But If you were going to Boulder, their numbers are lower, it has a higher Dem. population, maybe they are wearing masks and keeping distance unlike my area who’s citizens are scoffing at this and the numbers reflect that.,
    You seem able to keep a loving attitude, which is wonderful. Thank you for that. I am drifting into hopelessness

    Liked by 1 person

    • My son and his family live in Steamboat Springs. My daughter-in-law said their numbers are low, but we have to fly into Denver, so I’m not sure what the situation is there. Stay safe and stay hopeful! This too shall pass.

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  5. Are you sure you’re not having panic attacks? They could be getting triggered by your heightened pulse or breathing. Something to think about., There might be suggestion on the web about what to do about them.

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    • I don’t know. I’ve never had a panic attack before. It could be. They come and leave very suddenly. I will have to do some research. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  6. While I take your point that our freedom to move about outside has been curtailed, in some ways I feel freer than ever. I’m an introvert and being at home seems delightful and relaxing to me. No social events to deal with. No appointments to drive to. No need to do anything other than be grateful and make dinner. And keep myself entertained in my own quiet ways. I like a slower pace of life, I guess– but I do want this to end, don’t get me wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do like being at home too. Since I am retired, I spend a lot of time at home anyway, but I am pretty extroverted, so just the thought of not being ALLOWED to socialize (in person) is bothering me. Gratitude. I need to keep repeating that to myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your grandson is so cute! You’ll soon get to see him in person again. And for a change, you’ll cry happy tears!
    That book on big data sounds interesting. I have always thought that studies based on surveys must be flawed… at least, I would never admit how much chocolate and potato chips I’m eating, haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! Yes, I will be crying happy tears the next time I get to see my grandson. The Big Data book was interesting. I learned a lot by reading it. I think we do all try to present our best side, to not make ourselves too vulnerable, especially to an anonymous survey.

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  8. I love the idea of your online cocktail party with your friends – so nice to be able to stay in contact, even if it isn’t the way we would necessarily want to. You will be able to get together with them and your family soon – hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is a nice thing to look forward to on Saturdays. We have to laugh at ourselves, though, because it takes us so long to figure out this very simple technology. Thank you – this too shall pass! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Running is freedom for me. I have even felt a bit guilty running in public spaces because I feel like I’m flaunting my freedom in the face of the restrictions. We had a family Zoom for Easter. Three generations from eight locations. I guess it was somewhat realistic as my 83 year old mother later asked if we made it home OK. (sigh) I attribute similar feelings to grieving. Things got so different so quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know what you mean about running = freedom. It has been that for me for years. Your Easter Zoom sounds wonderful. Things did change in the blink of an eye, didn’t they?

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  10. I have a lot of ups and downs–I too am ready to break out, but I am scared of what’s going to happen when we do get to move freely. Our leadership has really affected me and so I can’t watch the news or press briefings. It’s tough. I feel you. I really do.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Your grandson is absolutely precious, Laurie, and I can certainly commiserate with your frustration of not being able to see him in person, not to mention getting together with friends and family who live nearby. We are all mourning our loss of freedom in these times. May we never, ever take it for granted in the future!
    Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Laurie, it is so important to find some good in each day. And you have! Like you, I look forward to phone calls from our granddaughters. Our 7YO, facetimes me every day and takes me on an “adventure”, as she calls it. She takes me to some spot in the house where we can talk and laugh in private. To say this is the highlight of my day is an understatement. I have now been into every nook and cranny of every closet in the house, the crawl space in the attic, under beds, and in the playroom. These are the memories and the laughs I will forever hold stored in my heart. Hang on to hope! Hold onto the memories and lessons from these days as they are going to serve deep purposes in our lives. {{Hugs}}

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, how nice that your granddaughter Facetimes you every day! That is so funny that she takes you to all the private spots so she can have some time with you all to herself! Thanks for the hugs!

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  13. Love that you are Zooming with your people.
    I’m getting a bit grumpy about the restrictions as well, particularly because our son’s wife is about to go into labor any day with grandbaby #3–and we are wondering if we will be able to use the plane tickets we have purchased for the end of May…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, no! Your son and his wife are in Colorado, is that right? I hope you do get to make the trip. We have tickets to go out there in July. I am hoping we can use them too.

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  14. I am sorry that you can’t be in person with your grandkids. But the photos are great!

    Love that you are zooming with your friends, too.

    I swear one more long run in my neighborhood . . . yet I still feel for me, now is not that right time to drive somewhere. Our bike paths are so narrow. I checked one out this week on the way home from an actual errand — still too crowded for my taste. 😦 So I hear you on the freedom to go where I want!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Awww, Laurie, I know what you mean about the loss of freedom. Like you, there are things I’m anticipating doing in person again, and almost all of them involve seeing people I am missing. My parents, my sister(s), dear friends. Going to the grocery store without wearing a mask.

    I enjoyed reading how you are making do, and your “Happy Hours” do sound rather hilarious. πŸ˜‰ We’ve had to figure out some things in our home too. I guess it helps have teenaged boys in the house. πŸ™‚

    Sending you a virtual hug today!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I have to admit I took seeing friends and family for granted. I had no idea I would miss it so much! Teenagers are built-in tech geniuses. You are lucky to have them in the house! πŸ™‚ Thanks for the hug.

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  16. Hi Laurie, thank you for this post. I am sorry that you are struggling still but it sounds like there is a lot of truth in your self-diagnosis; the loss of freedoms we take for granted. The pictures are great and very glad you and your husband can connect with friends on Zoom. Blessings for the week, Michele

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Michele. I also think lack of sleep is causing some of my problems. After a good night’s sleep, I feel like a different woman! πŸ™‚ Blessings to you too.

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  17. Your grandson is a cutie! There is much that I am learning not to take for granted!! It must be a harder lesson to learn than I thought – it is taking so long!!?!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I really relate to this post, especially the freedom part. It hasn’t been too terribly difficult for me to stay home because I’m an introvert anyway, but I really miss being able to go to the grocery store or on a run with friends without thinking twice about any of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I totally get the missing “freedom” concept. I’m missing visiting Weston and playing with him and reading to him. I did mention to my sister the other day though that I think it’ll end up being her decision when she’s ok having more people around him because this virus isn’t going to truly go away until a vaccine is found. She agreed and I think I may be able to visit next month even if it’s while wearing a mask. I wish more guidelines would come out about that… when we know that we’re ok to start visiting family members if it’s just a few people. Technically we’re breaking the stay at home rule having my dad over twice a week to go running, but as Jason and I are working from home and limiting store visits I’m not too concerned about exposing dad to anything as he works in a machine shop with people everyday and so far has been ok.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. We started taking walks with our son and grandsons – socially distanced, of course. It’s been nice enough that we can walk on some bike paths or the Enola Low Grade trail, but it’s tough not giving them hugs and eating meals together. I think it’s going to be longer than we initially thought until we return to anything even close to “normal”.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree. I’m already planning on not being able to attend a Broadway show in June (it’s scheduled for the 13th and shows are only cancelled through the 6th currently) or see Nickelback in Hershey in July. I’m hoping we can still visit friends in Chicago in August but time will tell!

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  20. Your grandson is adorable.

    :hugs: I think we are all grieving and mourning. This has been a test like none other, and it’s going to be a rare person who walks away unscathed in some way. Hang in there. We’ve got this.

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  21. As a person of also a certain age I may have laughed a little too hard visualizing you and your friends on your Zoom call. I had my first one a few weeks ago and, yes, about 10 minutes went by before I realized that my black square meant my video wasn’t on and how to fix it!

    I think most of us are missing our freedom these days. And I hope we will never forget that feeling and how easily it happened. And appreciate it even more every time we hug our loved ones, go out for a run, or simply walk out the door to go shopping without having to wear a mask.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha! We are all laughing at ourselves and our inability to figure out this very simple technology.

      I hope we never forget to appreciate our freedom and to see our loved ones too.

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  22. Totally agree about the freedom! Its so hard to not be able to do some of those simple things. We used to see my mom twice a week when she watched my son, now we haven’t seen her in 6 weeks. I totally understand why we are doing all of this but it doesn’t mean we have to like it.

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  23. That is so interesting about the surveys, and the “ideal” answers people (myself, at times LOL) give. I don’t think I try to necessarily give the “correct” answer, but I over-analyse the questions to discern what the question is really getting at. And, then change my mind a few times before (ultimately) going back to my first answer.

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  24. The public service announcement for filling in your census paperwork reminds me of your post – she says “there will be a time that we will gather again, there will be parades …” I should know that add – they play it enough. It sounds like Zoom has at least helped you adapt somewhat and I heard a woman on the news saying that Zoomed with other people on her block – they were having a digital block party. Good for you learning how to Zoom. My dentist asked his patients to follow him on Facebook and showed a recent photo of his Zoom screen where he hooked up with his staff and I saw the square pictures of each of them on the screen – it was different for sure. Hopefully not much longer for normalcy.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. We’ve been doing an app called house party with family and friends. My daughter has it and we can use it to visit with my grandchildren. I think we are all missing our human connections. People need other people and I think we all feel a little adrift without our folks available.

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  26. Freedom. You hit the nail on the head, Laurie. I guess we never fully appreciate what we’ve got until we can’t find it.

    And anxiety. Yes.

    I hear your heart today. I’m missing my family, too. We’re all living in states where the virus has hit with a vengeance. I don’t know when we’ll see our grandkids again.

    As ever, you’ve motivated me to get outside today. It’s a glorious one and my sneakers are awaiting.

    Love to you, friend …

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I so agree, Lourie. We are missing our freedom. And grieving it. The ability to run errands. Meet for coffee. Take a walk not have to 6 feet apart from others we pass.. Not able to go on dates. Attend church. Little things. But things that connect us to the bigger world and others and make us feel like we have choices and freedom.

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  28. Yeah – I see that – freedom… I hadnt thought of that before. But I am grateful for it in the same breath as well. To stay safe & healthy. its just a weird time.
    I have that book _ Before We were Yours – didnt even know I had it – I pulled it out to trace out a pattern because it’s a large book – I dont even know when or where I got it πŸ™‚ LOL

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  29. Your grandson is adorable and I know from personal experience, catching a chicken is HARD! Oh, I wanted to tell you, I’ve been reading “The Overstory,” per your suggestion. I’m close to finishing it so I’m anxiously waiting to see how it ends but so far, I really love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! Thank you! I think he is adorable too. I didn’t put it in a post but my son sent me the pictures of him running after the chickens trying to corral them in the chicken yard. So funny! So glad you are reading The Overstory! How appropriate for Arbor Day!

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  30. The lack of freedom is definitely wearing on us too. I’m glad you’re maintaining your sense of humor! I love that description of the zoom happy hour. We have a weekly zoom call with my parents and aunt and uncle and it also has similar issues πŸ™‚

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    • I am trying to maintain my sense of humor! My sister sends me funny stuff almost every day. We old people don’t understand how Zoom works! πŸ˜€

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  31. Hello, Hang in there, I guess we all need to keep calm. Hubby and I miss seeing our son, going out to dinner with our son and DIL. I am not sure how soon I want to be out close to people and eating in restaurants. I am not in a hurry to get out there. Your grandson is so cute, adorable photos. Take care, wishing you a happy day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am not sure how soon I will feel comfortable eating in restaurants too. You are right – I do need to stay calm. Hope you have a wonderful day too!

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  32. I enjoyed both of those books as well. I went yesterday to visit with my granddaughters. It had been over a month since I’d seen them. It was a wonderful day! I look forward to having more freedom again too, Laurie. Thanks for sharing these four things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, how wonderful that you got to see your granddaughters! We took a (socially distanced) hike with our grandsons yesterday too. It was wonderful. We threw rocks in the river! πŸ™‚

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  33. I am definitely mourning my freedom too; it’s funny because I really am a homebody and we rarely eat out but both my husband and I have remarked more than once in the past month that we really, really want to go out to eat or to a store and wander around. I just keeping this “this too shall pass.”

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    • I am pretty much an extrovert. My hubby and I like to eat out. It’s just knowing that you CAN’T do these things that is so hard to take (but understandable).

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  34. Missing & grieving over our lost freedoms; to see our loved ones, travel & enjoy life as we knew it is natural Laurie in this strangest of times.
    I’m glad you are still getting to run though & connect with family & friends through technology! It will definitely be a huge celebration for all when this is finally over!
    A big Shindig most welcome! πŸ˜€
    Bless you,
    Jennifer

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I spoke to my dad yesterday and he is really struggling without my kids visits. I used to drop them off at his on Friday evenings so I could get a Saturday long run done, and then would pick them up after my run. He loved every breakfast with them. We’re using zoom. Had to teach him how to do it remotely so I laughed when you spoke of you and your friends’ efforts as we had something similar, LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can imagine your dad is missing his grandchildren! I loved our overnights with our grandchildren too. My husband made them waffles with strawberries and whipped cream for breakfast almost every time because that’s what they asked for. We Baby Boomers can be amazingly dumb when it comes to technology. God for you for helping your dad with zoom! πŸ™‚

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  36. I saw Jeff’s comment and I agree that it might be a panic attack. Had a few many years ago and consulted a Dr. because I didn’t know what in the world it was. Glad that you are “zooming” with friends and it sounds like a lot of fun, which is something we all need right now. Stay well and thank you for linking up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I never had a panic attack (that I know of), but I will research them. Zooming with our friends is a lot of fun. We laugh at our ineptitude with the technology! Thank you for hosting!

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  37. Coronavirus really has taken so much normality away from our lives. I am really missing family and being able to go for days out.
    Aww! I am glad you are being kept updated with your grandson. So sorry you couldn’t visit. It looks like he’s having great fun.
    Your Saturday nights sound like fantastic fun x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am missing the same things as you. I guess we all are. Saturday nights are fun. It will be more fun when we can finally get together in person! πŸ™‚

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  38. I’ve had a lot of tears-close-to-the-surface moments, and I have found myself getting my feelings hurt a little more easily than usual. I think it’s all part of the package of the mental strain this is putting on us all. I’m not sure what the next best steps are toward normalcy. I keep reading complete opposite viewpoints about how it should be done. I’m praying for those who make these decisions.

    The most compelling thing I found about Before We Were Yours was that it was based of a horrific true situation. It’s hard to believe how evil people can be sometimes.

    The Zoom get-together sounds fun! Our church is small enough to use Zoom, and after our service, we have a time to just hang out and see how everyone is doing. Our ladies’ Bible study is going to try it tomorrow. I’m a bit antsy because my husband usually handles all the setting up, muting and unmuting the mic, etc., so I’ll have to do that. But it’ll be good for me.

    One day at a time, one step at a time, and soon this will be over. Or at least better than it is now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve had a lot of those emotional moments too. It seems like even a touching commercial can bring tears to my eyes these days.

      I did read that the book was based on a true story about the adoption agency. I can’t imagine how people could be so cruel to children!

      Your church sounds fantastic! Our church is too big to do that. I love that sense of community your church seems to have.

      You are right, one day at a time…

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  39. I’ve been mourning my freedom for four years now since I became disabled overnight. It doesn’t make me feel any better knowing that others are suffering though. I’m sure things will slowly start returning to normal and everyone will appreciate their freedom more. So sorry you are missing your family, that must be hard. I miss my brother and nieces, but we will all be together again some day. I guess I’m lucky I have all my kids at home (although some days I don’t feel so lucky if you know what I mean!) And I don’t have those longed for grand kids which I know I’d miss like crazy. x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can imagine you would mourn your loss of freedom, Anne. Thank you for the good reminder to appreciate the good things I take for granted. You are lucky to have your kids at home. One of my kids lives 2000 miles away and another one lives 3000 miles away!

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  40. I am right there with you in missing my freedom. I thought it wouldn’t be as difficult for me as someone who spends a lot of time at home due to chronic pain. How wrong I was!! I miss being able to do what I want when pain isn’t holding me down.

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  41. Smiling at your description of your Zoom get togethers. So true. Does take time to set it up. It is wonderful that we have a way to get together. I’m sure we are all going to appreciate being able to pop out for something when this is all over. It’s the silliest of things that catch me out. I hope your running doesn’t continue to trigger you, although a good weep is no bad thing. #wotw

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    • You are so right, Cheryl – I hope we appreciate small things like being able to pop out at a moment’s notice when all of this is over! I had a week of good runs this week, then yesterday was a bad one again. It does sometimes feel good to let it all out!

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  42. It’s so hard having your freedom restricted isn’t it? I think we can all relate to missing freedom right now – I know I can. Thank goodness for technology like Zoom allowing us to stay a little more connected though. I love the photos of your grandson and I’m sorry that you’re not able to be with him at the moment. Your Zoom happy hours sound like so much fun, what a great idea πŸ™‚ #WotW

    Liked by 1 person

    • Having these restrictions is harder than I thought it would be. We just had another Zoom happy hour last night. Too much fun! Have a good week, Louise!

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