When I began to write this post, I searched my blog for my last Runfession. I was horrified to discover it was at the end of May!
Three months without acknowledging guilt. Three months without confessing my running sins. Three months without absolution. I feel so unclean!
Let me unburden myself.
My first runfession concerns thinking some very uncharitable thoughts about some non-running friends.
Readers, you can easily see by the lines on my face and the gray (or is it silver?) in my hair I am no spring chicken.
One question, however, I must admit to cringing when I hear from a non-runner is some version of this: “Aren’t you too old to be running?”
Let me see…running helps keep me feeling youthful, energetic, and strong. It bolsters my social life and helps to satisfy my desire for adventure in a healthy way.
Running keeps my pulse, blood pressure, weight, and cholesterol low and improves my sense of self-confidence.
It has inspired travel, goal-setting, connectedness, and fun in my life.
Am I too old for all of that?
Would it be better if I sat on my front porch in a rocking chair and warned neighborhood kids to stay off my lawn?
I runfess. I
must will do better.
My second runfession is this: when I love something, I tend to go just a teensy bit overboard.
Friends and family know during strawberry season (now sadly past until next May), I tend to eat fresh strawberries until they are coming out of my ears.
The first quart of strawberries I buy each year never actually survives the 10 minute trip from the farm to my house. They all get eaten on the way home.
I eat strawberries in my yogurt, in fruit salads, in pies, and in strawberry shortcake. In fact, when I was a kid, our family used to eat strawberry shortcake for dinner. As an entree.
I am the same way with my favorite running routes.
I have a 10K route I love that begins at the local rec center. One day years ago, I ran it just as the sun was coming up over the rolling farmland of Lancaster County. The scene was so beautiful that it made me want to run that route again and again and again, even if it wasn’t at sunrise.
I am sure my hubby and running partner is tired of the route, but whenever I ask him “Where do you want to run?” he often graciously says, “Want to run the 10K from the rec?”
I do like to explore new running routes but a loved favorite is comfortable like a soft, well-worn sweater.
My third and final runfession has to do with the return of joy to my running.
I haven’t actually told many of my friends about it yet.
I’m not sure if I’m afraid I will jinx my newfound happy feelings, or if I am anxious that the feelings are temporary and will go away.
I certainly wouldn’t lie to anyone and tell them I’m still miserable when I am not.
But I’m also not sure it’s the kind of thing you make an announcement about, either. Because of the restrictions due to the pandemic, the only person I was running with when the worst anxiety struck was my hubby.
I am just very, very grateful and relieved to be where I am now. One blogger suggested that she went through the stages of grief related to the pandemic and thought maybe the same thing happened to me.
I think she may be right.
If so, “Hello, acceptance. I’m glad you finally showed up!”
See you next month for Runfessions.
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