Tears In My Coffee

Meditations in Motion

The echoing silence assured  me
That you really were no longer here
-From “Tears in My Coffee” by Rich Voisine

Hello and welcome to the June edition of The Ultimate Coffee Date with Coco from Running With Perseverance and Deborah from Confessions of a Mother Runner, where we dish over coffee (or tea, if that is your preference) about all things running (and some non-running topics too).

Meditations in MotionIf we were having coffee today, you might see me crying into my cup. I would have to tell you the sad news that my dog Benji died this week.

I haven’t been feeling too bloggy lately. If I took a long time to respond to your comment or if I haven’t been reading too many posts lately, I apologize.

The last few weeks have been difficult.

Benj had gradually been getting weaker. I attributed it to him getting older. Two Saturdays ago, he finally got to the point where we had to take him to the vet.

After examining him for two hours, the vet finally realized he was extremely anemic,  and needed an immediate blood transfusion if we wanted him to live, which, of course, we did. He suspected kidney disease.

The nearest animal hospital with blood transfusion capabilities is an hour away, so we put Benji in the back of the car and frantically rushed him there.

After five hours, which included an ultrasound, a blood transfusion, lots of medication, and some very hard decisions on our part, the emergency room vet told us he would have to be admitted overnight at a cost of thousands of dollars. The kidney disease was confirmed.

We told her to do it. He actually stayed two nights.

That Monday morning, a veterinarian who specialized in critical care called to tell us there was nothing more they could do for Benji and recommended euthanasia.

I said, “No, we are going to bring him home.

We arrived at the hospital to find a dog who couldn’t walk or eat, in fact, he could barely hold his head up.

We were sent home with eight different medications to administer at various times throughout the day. I made a chart to keep track of his medication schedule.

When we got home, I tempted Benji to eat with one of his favorite treats – peanut butter on bread – and he seemed to perk up slightly.

He ate sporadically for the next two days, then on Wednesday, a miracle! As I was taking a shower, Benji appeared outside the shower door. He was walking on his own! Shortly after that, he wolfed down 4 slices of turkey breast.

I was sure a fantastic recovery was underway. Benji walked outside on his own power and ate hot dogs and shredded wheat biscuits.

Sadly, the miracle was short-lived. He declined daily after that and the following Monday, we took him to our local vet for the last time and said goodbye as he took his last breath.

Meditations in MotionBenji was not originally our dog. He first belonged to our youngest son. I fell in love with him, however, the very first time I saw him.

He was a squirrelly nine-month-old puppy our son rescued from the shelter, a cross between a border collie and a basenji, smart, expressive, and stubborn.

When my son and his wife went to the hospital to have their first baby, we enthusiastically volunteered to keep the dog for them.

That baby turned nine last week and Benji still lived with us.

I was secretly happy to keep him and worried at first they would ask to have him back.

Meditations in MotionHe became my running partner for a while, but he was a much better walking partner than running partner. He liked to zig-zag across the trail and stop to smell everything. His favorite activity was wading in the creek beside the bike path when it was hot, where he would flop down on his belly, allow the water to rush over him, and look up at me as if to say, “Ahhh. This is the life!

He followed me everywhere. Just like when my boys were toddlers, if I wanted to pee in privacy, I had to shut the bathroom door.

He will be missed terribly.

I will be back soon with more running hijinks and thoughts about life. Right now, I am remembering a special dog who stole my heart.


You can find the places I link up here.





  1. Laurie,
    I’m so sorry to read about the passing of your loving furry family member, Benji. Benji looks just like my two rescue dogs, George and Zoe – both were black with the white patch on the chest and white twinkle toes and grey muzzles. Oh how I still miss them. I always say that dogs point us to the unconditional love of our heavenly Father. May God comfort you in your sorrow…
    Blessings and gentle hugs,
    Bev xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Bev. I think there are a lot of rescue dogs who resemble Benji. Maybe because it takes a lot of patience and/or energy to care for a dog who is part crazy border collie! 🙂 You are so right about dogs’ love! Thank you for the hugs and blessings. I appreciate them!


  2. We said goodbye to our first furry baby not too long ago, and it’s so hard. I still look for her – there’s nothing like the love of a pup. Praying for comfort and happy memories in the hard days to come.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so sorry for your loss. I still look for Benji too. I expect him to come running with his tail wagging when we walk in the door. Thank you!


  3. Oh Laurie, how heart breaking..and I am so sorry. We had a dog who was a lab kelpie cross – essentially our son’s when he lived with us…but when he left home, he felt it was best his dog (Loopy!) stayed with us. She was bored but lovely..needed more space than we had but she stayed…until she started showing signs of not being well. In fact, it was now 16 years ago which I can scarcely believe. She was given every care at home until the vet and my husband made the hard decision to put her to sleep. Our son, and his sister, raced to our place when they heard…and even though it was done probably illegally, she was buried in that backyard she knew as home, by those who loved her.

    Thank you for sharing your post for the link up #lifethisweek Next Week, the optional prompt is #selfcare. Come on over and join in with a post old or new. Warm wishes, Denyse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Denyse. It’s so easy to get attached to our kids’ pets, isn’t it? Benji was with our son for 5 years and us for 9. I’m sure you gave Loopy a wonderful home. See you next week. Thanks for hosting.

      Liked by 1 person

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